This July 4th not only marks Independence Day, but the passing of my twin sister, Pamela Lennox Tynes, four years ago. Recently, while reviewing and attempting to organize my New York studio photography from over thirty years ago, I came across a group of photos taken in the late seventies when my sister and mother came to New York for a visit. We were still young in our early thirties with most of our lives and experiences still ahead of us.
Pam was intelligent, blessed with good looks, artistic talent, a strong will, and an overabundance of personality. In fact, she had a bigger-than-life personality. When she was in the room, you knew she was there. When we were in kindergarten, we were in the same class. The combination of my lack of confidence and Pam's charisma presented a potential problem. The teacher would ask me a question, I would remain quiet, and Pam would immediately get up and answer the question for me. As kids, Pam was my protector and I knew it. However, separating us into different classrooms forced me to answer for myself and saved me from a life as a moron. But I digress.
Never at a loss for male suiters, Pam opted for the life of a stay-at-home mom, was married young at 21, and had three beautiful daughters. Surrounded by a loving husband, children, friends, horses, chickens, and dogs she lived a happy country life in southwest Louisiana. She loved all of it. But as sometimes happens in life, disaster strikes the best of us. Driving down a two-lane road one day in the mid 1980's, a truck crossed the middle line and struck her car head on. Her two-year old daughter, in a car seat in back, was thankfully uninjured. Pam, however, suffered serious physical damage and a very severe head injury. The physical injuries were fixable. The head injury and the multiple cognitive issues it caused were another issue. This was not only tough on Pam, but particularly her husband, daughters, and my parents. How tough I will never fully know. It would be a long road back to being who she was before the accident.
But in keeping with her incredibly strong will, she slowly but surely recovered her old self. In fact, she committed herself to her physical recovery by training to compete in a triathlon. Wow, I wouldn't do that with all my faculties. Needless to say, she completed this task and checked it off her accomplishments list. Years later, unfairness struck again as she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Over the years, despite Pam's and her doctors' best efforts, the cancer gradually spread.
This is not meant to be about the tribulations she faced, but how she chose to deal with them. In keeping with her inner drive and force of will, she chose not to give up and become bitter. She chose to fight the illness and get as much out of life as she possibly could. She chose to become a better, kinder person. She went back to school and received her college degree. She got fully involved in her church. She selflessly gave back to others. She was there for her immediate family, sister, brothers, nieces, nephews, and parents whenever they needed her. She didn't expect us to come to her - she came to us.
My wife and I were lucky enough to spend several vacations with Pam over the last few years of her life. I was there the first and last days of her life as I would wish for all twins. It's a blessing and special relationship. This photo for me captures who Pam was. It has been said that the eyes are an insight into the soul. Pam was a special person inside and out.
Pamela Lennox Tynes